


breathe in, breathe out (let the human in)

by PeriodicallyBleeding



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: M/M, Panic Attacks, Sad, enjoy lmao, i don't wanna spoil it so just kinda be careful bc it ends sadly, idk why i write shit like this honestly, really fucking sadly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-24
Updated: 2015-11-24
Packaged: 2018-05-03 05:11:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5277923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeriodicallyBleeding/pseuds/PeriodicallyBleeding
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“tyler? you ok?”</p><p> </p><p>“not ok, not ok. help me josh.” </p><p> </p><p>aka a short sad thing i wrote /title from the song human by of monsters and men/</p>
            </blockquote>





	breathe in, breathe out (let the human in)

eyes closed. face forward. breathe. keep breathing, tyler. breathe.

_can’t. breathe._

the walls tyler built to protect himself were crashing down, the waves behind his eyes twisted and churned in time with the rhythm of his heart and his head was spinning. he was a contradictory mixture of tired and wide awake, the animals in his chest wouldn’t let him sleep. the constant thudding of his pulse in his ears and breaking his ribs were enough to put him in a state of frustration and anger, he needed sleep.

_can’t. breathe._

he snapped his eyes open and took in the deepest breath he could, his fingers curled grasped at the bedsheets like if he let go he would float away. he felt weightless and he didn't like it, he needed to be grounded. he needed to feel something under his touch and he needed to feel his breath colliding with the cold air. he needed someone to hold him and keep him rooted to the floor.

“tyler? you ok?”

“not ok, not ok. help me josh.” tyler grabbed his own chest and tried to slow his breathing, he could feel his heart thud against his palm and he could feel his lungs constrict as the knocking on the door kicked up a notch. josh’s voice blurred into static and the walls dripped with watercolour blood, his pupils dilated bigger than the moon and his tongue was dryer than the desert.

“tyler, hey shh, c’mere.”

he was vaguely aware of two arms wrapping around him and he instincively let out a cry, his arms thrashed and his feet jolted as he tried to struggle away. ‘tyler, it’s me’ resounded throughout the room and a flash of colours on one of the arms wrapped around him brought him back to earth. he snapped his head up to see a friendly face looking down at him with an even friendlier smile, josh.

“you’re not real.” tyler pulled away with a sharp intake of breath and fell to the floor, he scrambled backwards until he back hit the wall and stared at the man in front of him.

“listen, i’m real. okay? you’re safe. trust me, tyler.”

**  
  
**

trust. _trust._ it’s just a word. it had no real solidarity behind it. it had no meaning. no.

“i can’t even trust myself.”

tyler whimpered and willed the voices to calm, the crescendo of symphonies singing a chorus of _‘die die die’_ over and over in his skull. he brought his hands up to his face and hit the side of his head, his eyes squeezed shut and his throat worked to produce something louder than the voices.

“no no no, tyler please look at me.”

a hand on his face, a finger tilting his chin up. a pair of eyes meeting his and a galaxy behind a sparkling smile. no. not real.

_can’t. breathe._

“please, breathe.”

a pair of lips touching his. no. no. bad. memories. bad thoughts bad memories. josh knows this.

“fuck- i- i’m sorry, i didn’t-”

backing away. wide eyes. a hitched breath. regret plastered across josh’s face and fear plastered across tyler’s.

“i-it’s okay..”

josh stops backing away. instead, he kneels down and holds his hands out in an almost childlike way. tyler gets the idea and tentatively shuffles towards him before burying his head in josh’s chest as the same pair of arms from before wrap around him.

“you can’t be real.”

hurt. he looks hurt. but tyler’s hurt too. hurt that the man he loved so fucking much killed himself two months ago. tyler wasn’t the same. the only thing tyler had left was a fucked up head and a few hallucinations. not real. _no._

_can’t. breathe._

**come back, josh.**

**  
  
  
  
  
  
**

**Author's Note:**

> ya sorry


End file.
